I’d like to introduce you to Jessica…

Jessica grew up in a handful of small towns in Missouri. To clarify exactly how small—we’re talking about one stoplight towns where everybody knows your business and a swimming pool at the end of a gravel road counts as a ‘country club’—the kind of place where you’re only referred to by your family name. She would spend her entire life being known as, “one of the Cope girls.”

She started her performing career at her parents’ dinner parties, performing such classics as, “I’m a Little Teacup,” and, “Little Bunny Foo Foo.” In second grade she went on to star as the title character in, “Perky’s Christmas,” a heartwarming tale of the only robin at the birth of Jesus. She did her own choreography for her solo ‘ballet’ number (she basically just spun around the stage for 2:30 minutes).

Jessica started to read at age four (although her mother claims she just memorized the book and did not actually ‘read’ it). She ‘published’ her first book, Amy and the Crocodile, at age five (she wrote it on construction paper and sewed the pages together). It won her, what she is still positive is only the first of many awards, the Young Author’s award for the state of Missouri. She even did her own illustrations.

In junior high and high school, she managed the impressive balancing act of being both in the gifted class and captain of the cheerleading squad. She attended summer camp for the so-called ‘gifted’ students where she came up with the ingenious idea of dying her hair with cherry Kool-Aid. In fact, it was six packets of cherry Kool-Aid and about a teaspoon of water to create a paste. It turns out Sassy magazine lied when they said it would wash out in six to seven shampoos. That is the first and last time she ever colored her hair.

Jessica graduated from the University of Missouri with her BA in communication after being enrolled for seven years. Communication was her fifth major. She then inhabited a cubicle at an advertising and marketing agency in Saint Louis for three years until her soul was almost entirely sucked from her body. Her salvation came when she decided that since her friends kept telling her how funny she was, they must be right and she should totally quit her job and become a ‘filmmaker.’ Surprisingly, considering 2/3 of her time at the University of Missouri she didn’t actually attend her classes (even on exam days) she was accepted to the University of Bristol in England in the MA in Film and TV Production program(me – that’s how they spell it). Subsequently, she became know as, “That blonde American girl.” When her visa expired, she moved to Los Angeles, where she now lives in a very tiny studio apartment.

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3 Responses to “I’d like to introduce you to Jessica…”

  1. Hannah Says:

    Um… Jessica. I think you were known through out Bristol as ‘Chantelle’. I feel this is a vital part of information that is missing.

    This is the first time I’ve had a chance to check out ‘Two Blondes Walk Into a Blog’ and it’s very cool, and kind of inspires me to get off my fanny (i’m sorry, i’m a child) and do something similar!!!

    • twoblondeswalkintoablog Says:

      ‘Tis true. Sadly, on more than one occasion someone pointed and called me ‘Chantelle.’ (She was/is a reality TV star from Celebrity Big Brother in the UK, for my fellow Yanks out there.) We really, really don’t look anything alike though.

  2. Gary Says:

    Having grown up in one of the aforementioned small towns in Missouri inhabited by the Cope girls – I can in fact confirm key elements of the above narrative. It is nice to see additional fly over state folks make it to the coast. Excellent work on the blog.

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