Archive for the ‘Stephen Colbert’ Category

Two Blondes Watch Their TiVo: The Emmys, Part 1

September 24, 2008

Two blondes watch their TiVo and ramble about themselves.


And now the 60th Annual Emmy Awards are brought to you by extreme awkwardness!

When I was six I peed in my seat in front of an entire class of my peers. I just sat there while urine flowed over the sides of my tiny plastic chair. All the other kids stared at me, pointed and laughed. That was less awkward than the Emmy’s this year.

First, I’d like to know what was up with the bush wall between the “reporters” and the talent during the red carpet pre-show. Here’s my impression: “Kyra Sedgewick. Can I ask you a few questions from behind this cumbersome hedge? Oh shit, a twig caught my dress! I don’t understand why the fuck we have to stand behind this stupid bush. Sorry… so who are you wearing? Hey, where are you going?”

I’ve decided to review Mary Tyler Moore’s bare arms…. One word: terrifying.
Please proceed to your closest Chico’s and find some shawls to cover that shit up. It’s totally cool to be old, you’re still a classy gal, but it is completely unnecessary to bare that much skin in front of millions of people.

I’ve already complained about Josh Groban once on this blog, but after watching his performance at the Emmy’s, I feel I must whine and bitch yet again. First off, he had crazy eyes. Maybe he realized what a shitty gig he had gotten himself into and it was really freaking him out. Then he would sing in a weird high voice for certain parts. I think he was trying to be funny, but instead Groban ruined some of my favorite TV show theme songs. The “Golden Girls” theme song is even my ringtone, and now I can’t stop shuddering when I hear it. I am currently shaking my fist at you, Groban!

Despite my overall discontent with the show, I do have to give them kudos for ending at 11pm on the dot. That really helped me out with getting enough sleep for work on Monday. So thanks for that Emmy’s!


This may have only aired in Los Angeles, but did you see the sad red carpet review that ABC ran before the show? They had Randolph Duke interviewing celebrities about their dresses, and by “interviewing” I mean a lot of gushing that made frequent use of the word, “fabulous.” When Randolph Duke stopped Tim Gunn it felt like the episode of Seinfeld where they run into their doppelgangers. Can’t you just see them going antiquing together?

I want to hate Jeremy Piven, but then he goes and does things like taking shots at the horrible hosts in his acceptance speech of the first award of the night and I can’t help but like him.

Why was Josh Groban singing all the theme songs? Rapping to the Fresh Prince?? I’m fine with ‘celebrating’ TV theme songs, but Josh Groban? I’m so confused and from the sound of the audience, I’m not alone. Does Groban have a sense of humor or was he completely serious with this? Wait, I’m just remembering that I think he participated in the “I’m f*cking Matt Damon” (or was it Ben Affleck?) video, so maybe he meant to be funny. It’s yet to be determined.

Tina Fey is a goddess and I worship her.

Five hosts is possibly the worst idea ever. Heidi Klum seemed dumbfounded by most of the show. Why can’t Jeff Probst wear a tie? Howie Mandel must be the worst person to encounter at a cocktail party—he won’t shut up.

Why didn’t Jimmy Kimmel host? His bit giving out the reality host award was 100% better than anything the actual hosts did. Plus I’m bitter that Cat Deeley from “So You Think You Can Dance” didn’t get nominated and Heidi Klum did.

My crush on Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert only grows stronger everyday.

All in all, this made me really wish I still got cable. Ah Mad Men, our love affair was brief, but maybe the fates will bring us together again someday…