Two Blondes Watch Their TiVo: The Emmys, Part 2

Two blondes watch their TiVo and pass judgment on the world of television and the Emmy winners.

OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES
Winner: “Mad Men”

JESSICA CHOOSES:
“Mad Men” – I was very torn with this one. “Lost” is one of my all-time favorite TV shows and pretty much any other year, it would be my choice. However, “Mad Men” is truly outstanding and “Lost” has already won this award. Therefore, I’m going with “Mad Men.”

P.S. “Friday Night Lights” should have gotten a nomination in this category. Seriously, some of the best programming on TV. “Boston Legal” can’t even carry the shoes (or should I say cleats…get it? Because they’re a football team…cleats) of “Friday Night Lights.”

ALISON CHOOSES:
“Mad Men” – I was very happy “Mad Men” won. But I wish that there could have been a tie between “Lost,” “Mad Men” and “Dexter.” Those are the three shows that both my TiVo and I worship. I also think “Breaking Bad” should have been nominated.

P.S. I am aware Jessica’s cleats joke is a pun, thus the lowest form of comedy, but it makes her giggle at her own cleverness every time she reads it. Sorry readers.

OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES
Winner: “30 Rock”

JESSICA CHOOSES:
“30 Rock” – If I haven’t yet made my love of all things Tina Fey-related known, then let me proclaim it now. Tina, I would give up my Sandwich Day-sandwich for you. This show is simply sublime. Episode 210 and Sandwich Day are some of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on TV. If you’re not watching this show, I’m not sure we can be friends.

ALISON CHOOSES:
I agree with Jessica and that is why we can be friends. And if you’re someone who has no idea what “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” is, then I feel sorry for you and think you should take a serious look at your life and your taste in television.

Speaking of taste or lack of, is “Entourage” actually worthy of even being in this category? I’ll admit I enjoyed this show the first two seasons, but it’s not funny anymore. It’s starting to feel douchey at this point.

To the fans of “Two and a Half Men” who helped get it nominated,
Really?
Alison

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Winner: Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”)

JESSICA CHOOSES:
Kyle Chandler (“Friday Night Lights”). Yes, I realize the academy did not even nominate him, but that is not stopping me from giving him the award.

ALISON CHOOSES:
Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”) I actually furiously clapped when Bryan Cranston won, despite sitting in an apartment with four other people (who were not clapping). I love this show and am constantly surprised and impressed with his performance in it. But if the world were a more magical place full of rainbows and unicorns (like it is in my head), I would also give an award to Michael C. Hall for “Dexter” and Jon Hamm for “Mad Men.” I would also give Jon Hamm some kind of award for being kind enough to go with Regis Philbin to surprise his wife, Joy.

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Winner: Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”)

JESSICA CHOOSES:
Steve Carell (“The Office”) – He manages to show the heart of a character that in anyone else’s hands, might just seem like a dolt.

ALISON CHOOSES:
Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”) and co-winners Jermaine Clement and Bret McKenzie (“The Flight of the Conchords”) – Alec Baldwin deserves to have Emmys coming out of his ass for what he does on “30 Rock.” There’s no question about that. But I’d also be super happy if Jermaine and Bret got a little notice for their wonderfully hilarious and original show.

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Winner: Glenn Close (“Damages”)

JESSICA CHOOSES:
Connie Britton (“Friday Night Lights”) – Again, I know she wasn’t nominated and I know the women who were nominated have either won the award before or are big movie actresses, but I feel very comfortable saying Connie Britton is better in FNL than any of them.

ALISON CHOOSES:
Kyra Sedgwick (“The Closer”) – I have to admit I haven’t watched “Friday Night Lights,” so maybe I would agree with Jessica if I knew otherwise. But I’m a fan of “The Closer” and think Kyra deserves recognition for her work.

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Winner: Tina Fey (“30 Rock”)

JESSICA CHOOSES:
Tina Fey (“30 Rock”) – Did I not make myself clear on this yet? If Tina Fey is eligible for a category, I’m picking her.

ALISON CHOOSES:
Tina Fey (“30 Rock”) – Insert constant laughter and joy here.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Winner: Zeljko Ivanek (“Damages”)

JESSICA CHOOSES:
Michael Emerson (“Lost”) – What I marvel at here is that Michael Emerson is so skillful (with the aid of some pretty amazing writing) that he has not changed the way he plays the character of Ben, yet he has managed to make the audience go from seeing him as a villain to a hero.

ALISON CHOOSES:
Michael Emerson (“Lost”) – There has never been a better, more complicated villain than Ben. The writers are due some credit for that, but Michael Emerson always delivers on the material.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Winner: Jeremy Piven (“Entourage”)

JESSICA CHOOSES:
Neil Patrick Harris (“How I Met Your Mother”) – I would marry him and make lots of adorable, witty babies…if only he weren’t gay.

ALISON CHOOSES:
Jack McBrayer (“30 Rock”) – If NBC put Kenneth’s smiling visage on a pillowcase, I would buy it. There is no other character on TV who gives me the same warm, happy feeling in my tummy as Kenneth does. I feel like he and I would be best friends and warm the world with our positive outlook on life.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Winner: Dianne Wiest (“In Treatment”)

JESSICA CHOOSES:
Evangeline Lilly (“Lost”) – Admittedly, I’m not sure if she would really be up for this or the lead actress award, but I didn’t want to pit her against Connie Britton in my head.

ALISON CHOOSES:
Evangeline Lilly (“Lost”) – I’m gonna agree with Jessica.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES

JESSICA CHOOSES:
Jenna Fischer (“The Office”)

ALISON CHOOSES:
Kristen Schaal (“The Flight of the Conchords”) – She’s pure comedy genius in a cute, awkward bottle.

OUTSTANDING REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM
Winner: “The Amazing Race”

JESSICA CHOOSES:
“So You Think You Can Dance” – This and “Project Runway” are the only programs in this category where all of the contestants actually have talent and seem to have studied some sort of craft. You can’t just walk in off the street, having never done it before, and be a good dancer. “So You Think You Can Dance” is a show tailor-made for me–the dancing, the costumes, my same-sex-non-sexual love for Cat Deeley…

ALISON CHOOSES:
“Project Runway” – It’s the only reality programming I can stand to watch.

OUTSTANDING VARIETY, MUSIC OR COMEDY SERIES
Winner: “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”

JESSICA CHOOSES:
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” – Come on, like there is any contest here.

ALISON CHOOSES:
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” – Agreed.

OUTSTANDING MINISERIES
Winner: “John Adams”

JESSICA CHOOSES:
“Roots” – Um…they still make miniseries? I guess I choose “Roots.” That’s the last miniseries I saw.

ALISON CHOOSES NOT TO CHOOSE:
They all sounded boring to me.

OUTSTANDING WRITING FOR A DRAMA SERIES:
Winner: “Mad Men”

JESSICA CHOOSES:
“Lost” – I think there is a huge problem with the way this award is set up. Excellent TV writing has to involve both great stand-alone episodes, AND great story arcs that are spread out over a season or more. That fact that they vote on individual episodes only, I feel, can be the only reason that “Lost” hasn’t won this award every year since it’s been on TV.

ALISON CHOOSES:
“Lost” – Most. Amazing. Show. Ever!

OUTSTANDING WRITING FOR A COMEDY SERIES
Winner: “30 Rock”

JESSICA CHOOSES:
“30 Rock” – You can’t be surprised by this at this point.

ALISON CHOOSES:
“30 Rock” – I have six words for you: “Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.”

Two Blondes Watch Their TiVo: The Emmys, Part 1

Two blondes watch their TiVo and ramble about themselves.

ALISON SAYS:

And now the 60th Annual Emmy Awards are brought to you by extreme awkwardness!

When I was six I peed in my seat in front of an entire class of my peers. I just sat there while urine flowed over the sides of my tiny plastic chair. All the other kids stared at me, pointed and laughed. That was less awkward than the Emmy’s this year.

First, I’d like to know what was up with the bush wall between the “reporters” and the talent during the red carpet pre-show. Here’s my impression: “Kyra Sedgewick. Can I ask you a few questions from behind this cumbersome hedge? Oh shit, a twig caught my dress! I don’t understand why the fuck we have to stand behind this stupid bush. Sorry… so who are you wearing? Hey, where are you going?”

I’ve decided to review Mary Tyler Moore’s bare arms…. One word: terrifying.
Mary,
Please proceed to your closest Chico’s and find some shawls to cover that shit up. It’s totally cool to be old, you’re still a classy gal, but it is completely unnecessary to bare that much skin in front of millions of people.
Alison

I’ve already complained about Josh Groban once on this blog, but after watching his performance at the Emmy’s, I feel I must whine and bitch yet again. First off, he had crazy eyes. Maybe he realized what a shitty gig he had gotten himself into and it was really freaking him out. Then he would sing in a weird high voice for certain parts. I think he was trying to be funny, but instead Groban ruined some of my favorite TV show theme songs. The “Golden Girls” theme song is even my ringtone, and now I can’t stop shuddering when I hear it. I am currently shaking my fist at you, Groban!

Despite my overall discontent with the show, I do have to give them kudos for ending at 11pm on the dot. That really helped me out with getting enough sleep for work on Monday. So thanks for that Emmy’s!

JESSICA SAYS:

This may have only aired in Los Angeles, but did you see the sad red carpet review that ABC ran before the show? They had Randolph Duke interviewing celebrities about their dresses, and by “interviewing” I mean a lot of gushing that made frequent use of the word, “fabulous.” When Randolph Duke stopped Tim Gunn it felt like the episode of Seinfeld where they run into their doppelgangers. Can’t you just see them going antiquing together?

I want to hate Jeremy Piven, but then he goes and does things like taking shots at the horrible hosts in his acceptance speech of the first award of the night and I can’t help but like him.

Why was Josh Groban singing all the theme songs? Rapping to the Fresh Prince?? I’m fine with ‘celebrating’ TV theme songs, but Josh Groban? I’m so confused and from the sound of the audience, I’m not alone. Does Groban have a sense of humor or was he completely serious with this? Wait, I’m just remembering that I think he participated in the “I’m f*cking Matt Damon” (or was it Ben Affleck?) video, so maybe he meant to be funny. It’s yet to be determined.

Tina Fey is a goddess and I worship her.

Five hosts is possibly the worst idea ever. Heidi Klum seemed dumbfounded by most of the show. Why can’t Jeff Probst wear a tie? Howie Mandel must be the worst person to encounter at a cocktail party—he won’t shut up.

Why didn’t Jimmy Kimmel host? His bit giving out the reality host award was 100% better than anything the actual hosts did. Plus I’m bitter that Cat Deeley from “So You Think You Can Dance” didn’t get nominated and Heidi Klum did.

My crush on Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert only grows stronger everyday.

All in all, this made me really wish I still got cable. Ah Mad Men, our love affair was brief, but maybe the fates will bring us together again someday…